A Lesson in Honesty, Lies, and Deceit
A little boy and girl were playing together in their sandpit. The boy was happily playing with some marbles he had taken from his bag. The little girl was sitting on the edge, eating lollies from a bag she had.
The girl was eyeing the boy’s marbles and thinking she would like to play with them. The boy had a real ‘sweet tooth,’ so he was eyeing her bag of lollies.
“I will give you my bag of marbles in exchange for your bag of lollies,” said the little boy.
The girl agreed and dipped into her bag to retrieve the bag of lollies.
The boy gave his bag of marbles, but he kept aside his biggest and prettiest one, his prized “shooter.”
That night, the girl slept peacefully. The little boy couldn’t sleep. He worried if she had saved her best lollies for herself, like he did with his prized shooter.
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Being deceitful is not a good quality to have. We usually associate it with a businessman or a politician who lies or misleads the truth. In our idiom above, the little girl was completely honest and gave the boy all the lollies she had.
The boy, on the other hand, was deceitful and dishonest. The little girl had no way of knowing what he had done; she trusted that he was doing the right thing.
In any relationship, it is essential to be honest and give one hundred percent. If you don’t, then you are left wondering if the other person is giving you one hundred percent. That is what trust is all about in a love, friendship, or work relationship.
The girl slept because she knew she had given her one hundred percent.
The boy was restless and couldn’t sleep. His conscience was loud in his mind, reminding him of his misbehavior and deceit. Your conscience is that annoying voice in your head. It speaks up when you act against your morals.
When you do the right thing, we say you have a “clear conscience.” When you do something wrong, that nagging voice often appears. We refer to this as a “guilty conscience.”
A couple of months ago, I discussed moral compasses:
It’s important to recognize and understand your moral compass. Unfortunately, some people lack a moral compass or have a severely flawed one. They only think about how their actions affect themselves.
Many people believe honesty is the most important part of a friendship. The pinnacle of that is in a marriage. Trust is everything.
Marriages are hard work. In many marriages, the honesty factor can be lost or diminished. This isn’t always a choice, as seen in the case of the boy who hid his favorite marble. It can be when you want to protect your partner’s feelings.
I aspire to be like the little girl, but too many times, I have come unstuck. Not because I have hidden something from a friend or a partner, like the prized marble. It is more serious than that. It was my true feelings.
I did it with care and concern; some might say self-sacrifice, but it was deceitful. For example, in my marriage, I would ask my wife what she wanted for dinner and offer her three choices. In my mind, I knew which choice I preferred, but when she would reply, “What do you feel like,” I would say, “I don’t mind.”
In marriages, the ultimate betrayal or deceit is when one partner has an affair. That reminds me of a joke I heard the other day:
A man is in the hospital with only a few days to live. His wife comes to visit him.
“Honey, it looks like I’m not going to make it, and I need to get something off my chest.”
“What is it, dear?” asks his wife.
“I have been having an affair with your best friend, Julie, for the last year.”
“Yes, I know, dear; why do you think I poisoned you?”
Till next time,
Calvin
